Missing Pregnancy?

The whole 33 Weeks that I knew I was pregnant- I hated it!


I know you should enjoy the growing life inside of you and be overjoyed because not all women would feel this.. But I hated being pregnant. I was constantly being sick, constantly in pain. I felt like a petting zoo and I became very negative over the size of my growing bump. Each day was a dread and a countdown to when I could eject this tiny human so the suffering would stop.

Now 10 months on.. I miss it. I miss the tiny kicks that only I could feel, I miss the excitement of labour (not the pain! Def don't miss that!). The anticipation of my little boy entering the world. Lastly I miss watching him squirm around on the screen! Because I had a hard pregnancy, it got to the point I was having scans weekly and I loved seeing Noah on screen, Kicking,squirming and trying to dodge the camera.  I still remember the hard months of being bed bound and losing relationships with my friends and having a complicated relationship with my family but, in all pain.. I would do it again in a heartbeat. 

Now this isn't a post of 'We are trying'. I have been to my doctors and now I am currently on the Contraceptive Patch called Evra. I change it once a week and every 4 weeks, leave the patch off. Me and Chris as a couple went through all contraceptive options and this was the perfect one for us. Going back to the point, We would love more children. But this isn't the right time to have more children. The fact of Noah being ill, me being undecided on going back to college or getting a Job. Lastly on housing and money issues. It would be harsh to bring another baby into this world when we already have too much to think about. But in the future we would love to have more children. We have names picked out and preferred genders. But for now.. It's a enjoy the moment as a family of 3 (:

Until Next Time..

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